Some people gain weight because of their body’s reaction to the medications they are taking. For some the weight sneaks up on them a bit each year. But, Vanessa’s overweight situation was mostly my fault.

She was fit for the first 19 years or so, then when she attended her last year of High School I sent her with a healthy brown bag lunch and she supplemented it with a 2nd lunch with items from the Lunch line. I thought she was gaining weight maybe due to hormones, or maybe due to the myth of: ‘people who have Down Syndrome are plumper than average’.

At graduation, the Lunch Line Ladies introduced themselves to me and I learned the real story. All year long they had looked out for her, visited with her, hugged her and hooked her up with lots of comfort food. They let her ‘charge’ the food and I was paying for it in ‘fees’ I thought were for her Special Ed classes.  OOPPPSIE.

The years went by, and her weight went back down, stabilized and then spiked again (along with mine). I rationalized my lazy cooking habits because I was working full time. I bought too much processed & fast food, ordered out pizza every Friday night, gave her ‘treats’ of ice cream outings and overall, I was being un-mindful of healthy choices.

The cartilage in my knees started to deteriorate and being overweight made things worse. I had pain, and it dawned on me that my uncomfortable situation could happen to Vanessa later in her life too.  I got busy stepping up to my responsibility to support her to be the best, healthiest version of herself she can be. I needed to learn so much and un-learn so much also.  

The first thing we did was help Vanessa stop drinking Diet soda. That was rough! She was addicted to the act of drinking it routinely, was holding lots of water weight from it, and aspartame’s dangers are controversial.

We replaced soda with water and unsweetened Iced Tea. We bought trendy water bottles, made a variety of teas at home and found the cheapest place in town to buy a large iced tea for a buck that she could carry around and sip on.  Most of her friends at the day program had a large go-cup of soda with a straw and she wanted one too.

We no longer have empty calorie foods in the house. No pop, chips, crackers, cookies, bags of dinner-type food in the freezer. If we don’t see ‘em we don’t crave ‘em. It’s a myth that healthy food costs more. Our grocery bill is the same, plus home cooked meals of Real food (not-processed) taste better.

I now make BIG salads (because she likes to see a lot of food on her plate), use smaller plates, use lean proteins (fish, chicken, turkey and fish, beans, quinoa, hummus, Greek yogurt) and use healthy fats like nuts, avocado, salmon & olive oil. We have plenty of fruits and vegetables on hand. We stay away as far as possible from: bread, salt and sugar. Desserts are fresh or frozen fruit with a squirt of whipped cream or frozen fruit pop-cycles or frozen yogurt.

I read labels and portion sizes and model measuring food. We talk of our ‘choices’ and ‘healthy eating’.  We encourage each other, and never criticize or use guilt. I rarely buy fast food which has been a rough adjustment for me. It's been challenging to change my habits to be a good role model for her, but it's not only been beneficial for her but for me also.

‘Treats’ have morphed from ice-cream, cupcakes, or potato chips & dip to activities like:

• Downloading Mandalas to color,

• Helping her find a movie on Netflix

• Buying a new blouse or hair stuff, new markers

• Going on a car ride to get a Tea while we chat, and sight see around town

• Working on a puzzle

• Putting on a fun Dance music CD so we can’t help but get up to dance

• Going for a nature walk or walking the dog

• Going to an art-class 

• She loves to reorganize her room

• Doing Yoga with Cousin Rachel

• Making a favorite healthy meal together like a 'skinny pizza' of cauliflower crust loaded with chicken bits, parmesan cheese, spinach, sun-dried tomatoes, mushrooms or whatever vegs we have on hand.

• Popsicles made with real fruit juice (25-45 calories each) are a satisfying dessert treat

She's been a willing participant because she saw results fast, feels better, has more energy, sleeps better, enjoys hearing praise from her doctor, knows she’s healthy and loves buying smaller and smaller sizes of 'cool' clothes.

The other day in a department store dressing room she was trying on clothes and exclaimed:

“I feel FABULOUS!. Really, really fabulous. Like, so fabulous.”